Posted on March 24, 2017 |
by Sara Lawler, LAM patient
My biggest fear when I was growing up (other than sharks of course) was always that I would grow up and be ordinary. For as long as I can remember, something in my gut always told me that I was destined to do something unique and amazing. Little did I know that I would, in fact, become extraordinary, just not for the reasons I wanted. It wouldn't be for winning a Tony award, or my contributions to science that helped cure AIDS, or my witty novel that hit number one on the New York Times Best Seller list.
I became exceptional on December 2nd, 2014, when I was diagnosed with LAM. All of a sudden, I became someone that people wanted to know; not critics or actors or authors, but doctors, and nurses and researchers. I was under a microscope (both literally and figuratively) and not only that, I was sick with a disease that had no cure and that none of my friends and family had heard of. I was extraordinary alright – but in a way that was completely different than I had ever imagined.
Once the shock (and let's be honest, a bit of denial) wore off, I became a person who was extremely angry. And in the interest of being completely candid, I have not reached a place where I am not angry. I have however reached a point where I realize that my angry energy can be channeled into something positive. And thus, the 90’s Prom Fundraiser was born.
I want to raise money for a cause that has become a part of who I am. I want to contribute to finding a cure for the handful of women in the world who I now feel are the only people who truly “get me.” I want to raise awareness, not only for LAM, but for every single person in the world who gets a “huh?” or “what is that?” or even a “you don't look sick” when they tell someone they have a chronic or rare disease.
But my motives are also selfish. Planning this fundraiser has been my therapy. It means that I when I am thinking about LAM, I am thinking about it not because I have it, but because I am doing something about it. I focus on balloons, and streamers, and 90’s hip hop and for that time, I feel hopeful. That feeling of anger that plagues me is gone and I can look towards the future with a smile on my face. Even if it’s not constant, I am effortlessly happy again. And while the money, and the awareness, and the hope for a cure are all wonderful things, starting to feel happy again kind of takes the cake.
Learn more about this event, click here and come be effortlessly happy with me on April 8th!
“This life isn't fair. It's gonna get dark, it's gonna get cold. You've got to be tough, but that ain't enough. It's all about soul."
- Billy Joel, All About Soul, 1993